Sunday, January 31, 2010

Buffalo wings and bleu cheese

Yes, I'm kicking off 'dumb diets week' with Atkins.

Ahh, Atkins. A favorite of lifelong dieters like myself.

When it was found out that such a sinfully delicious party food as buffalo wings had NO CARBS, the dieting community went bursurk. Myself included. I was on the Atkins wagon as soon as I heard. I also ate lots of bacon, eggs, and cheese as a part of my new healthy lifestyle.

The Atkins episode also brings pork rinds to mind. Almost chips, but not quite. They were Atkins legal, though, and you could pretend you were eating Fritos. I'm not sure what part of the pig the 'rind' comes from. If you know, don't tell me.

Another highlight of this chunk of my life was peeing on keto-strips purchased at Walgreens. This offered confirmation that your body had entered a state of ketosis, which meant you were getting skinny.

The novelty wore off of pork rinds and buffalo wings after about two weeks.

Then I got stuck in this pattern:

breakfast: ate eggs and bacon (dreamed of wrapping them in a soft warm tortilla)

midmorning: ate some cheddar to cheer myself up (mentally back on the wagon)

lunch: semi-enjoyed a chunk of beef (feeling a little disgusted)

afternoon: had some more cheese (not as gratifying this time, starting to waver)

dinner: lost my resolve and had some cereal (at this point I decide Atkins is ridiculous and I should just 'eat healthy' to lose weight)

Next morning: having to decide between my new plan B (which meant eating yogurt) or getting back on the Atkins wagon, I choose bacon and eggs.

And the pattern continues.

Did anyone else give pork rinds a try in the 90's?


  1. you make me laugh miss joy. love it. and no never gave them a try.

  2. That makes me think of someone I know who got gout when he got the bright idea to try the Atkins diet. Such a healthy idea, that diet was!

  3. My dad lost 30lbs on the Atkins diet... and doubled his cholesterol and increased his blood pressure by 60 points. His doctor said he was healthier before the diet...

  4. AH! The beloved Atkins Diet! The all you can eat bacon, butter and pork rind diet. I did it for about a year and a half. Lost 60 lbs! And 2 yrs later, I ended up in the ER for a sonogram. The wonderful diet not only gave me the joy of loosing weight, but my gallbladder as well. Seems the fat from the diet created a gallstone the size of an egg. As for the weight? Yep, I gained it all back.

  5. I smell a rat! Maybe this Atkins guy is a ringer for the medical industry. Or the bacon industry...

    Laura, I've always just hoped that I balanced out my raised Atkins cholestorol with some of the other dumb diets I've done.!

  6. people on Atkins diets are CRANKY bitches!

    mental note: stay away from Joy this week...

  7. Yep. I did Atkins a couple of times. Once I lost about 20 lbs on it. And I gained 30 when I went off. I'm a carb-o-holic.